Once you learn that someone you know has diabetes, you probably want to say and do things that are helpful and supportive. Your desire to help and support actually means a lot to those of us who have diabetes, and we appreciate it! I've heard it can be challenging and sometimes even awkward to interact with someone who has diabetes, because it's hard to know what to say in certain situations. Sometimes your efforts to be helpful and supportive can come off as insensitive and foolish, which, typically, is the exact opposite of your intentions. To assist you in your efforts to be helpful, I've listed below some situational phrases that you can use to ensure you're being supportive of (and not accidentally hurtful toward) your local diabetic.
Situation:
-Someone tells you that they have diabetes
Don't say this:
-Oh wow, that's awful. My grandmother died from diabetes.
-So, that means you can't have any sugar, right?
-I see. Are you sure you're supposed to be eating that?
-Did you get diabetes from eating too much sugar?
-Well, at least it's not cancer!
-My Aunt Tilly is in kidney failure because she never took care of her diabetes.
-Huh. I thought only fat people got diabetes. You're not fat.
-I've heard that cinnamon/chromium/okra can cure diabetes. Have you tried it?
Say this instead:
-Thanks for telling me. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
-That's good to know. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
-I've always wanted to learn more about diabetes. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
Situation:
-You witness a diabetic eating or drinking something that you've heard is "against the rules" for diabetics (the generally accepted belief that there are hard and fast rules for all diabetics is a myth, by the way).
Don't say this:
-Are you allowed to eat that?
-You can't have that, can you?
-Isn't that bad for you?
-You need to take better care of your diabetes.
-Is this going to put you into a coma?
-My aunt ate cake all the time and had to have her foot amputated
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You have deep knowledge about how another friend/family member cares for their diabetes, and you witness someone else managing their diabetes in a way that is different from what you've observed in the past.
Don't say this:
-I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be doing that.
-My friend/family member manages their diabetes by <enter treatment method here>. Have you tried that?
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You witness a diabetic checking their blood sugar and/or taking insulin. You are squeamish and HATE needles.
Don't say this:
-Oh wow, I would just DIE if I had to prick myself like that every day!
-That's disgusting.
-Can you please go into the bathroom if you're going to do that?
-Can you not do that in front of me?
-You must have the bad kind of diabetes.
-Your diabetes must be really bad.
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You learn that your friend/family member's blood sugar is, at this very moment in time, too high or too low (This occasionally happens to all diabetics. Blood sugars will never be perfect 100% of the time).
Don't say this:
-Wow, isn't that bad?
-Wow, why is it so bad?
-OMG that's really low/high isn't it?
-Is this because you ate something you shouldn't have eaten?
-You need to take better care of yourself.
-But you don't look sick.
Say this instead:
-Let me know if there's anything you need.
-How can I help?
-What can I do to help?
-What can I get you?
Situation:
You say, "what's that?" and the diabetic responds with "It's an insulin pump" or "It's a glucose monitor."
Don't say this:
-OhMyGosh I'm SO sorry, I shouldn't have asked!
-Wow, your diabetes must be really bad.
-Are you a brittle diabetic?
-My friend was a bad diabetic so that's why they put him on insulin.
-Oh, you have diabetes? I know someone who died from that.
-I heard insulin makes you fat.
Say this instead:
-Cool!
-That is awesome technology!
-Oh neat! That is so fascinating. Mind if I ask some questions about how it works?
Situation:
A diabetic you know is unconscious or having a seizure (uncommon, but possible)
Do this:
-If you're trained in blood sugar testing/treatment and/or glucagon administration, follow protocol.
-If you're not trained in blood sugar testing and glucagon administration, call 911.
Diabetes (all types) is a very difficult and confusing disease to manage. Diabetes behaves in extremely inconsistent ways from day to day. Most diabetics are doing the best they can! Things don't always work out perfectly. I understand that most of our supporters really just want to help, especially when they believe a diabetic is struggling. But. Unless you are a diabetes educator or an endocrinologist, it's unlikely that any suggestions you make will add value to a diabetic's life. Always remember that there is a very fine line between curiosity and perceived criticism. When in doubt, just say this: How can I help? If there's a way for you to help, we'll let you know! And, in case we forget to tell you, thank you for caring so much about us.
With Diabetic Love,
Kara
Situation:
-Someone tells you that they have diabetes
Don't say this:
-Oh wow, that's awful. My grandmother died from diabetes.
-So, that means you can't have any sugar, right?
-I see. Are you sure you're supposed to be eating that?
-Did you get diabetes from eating too much sugar?
-Well, at least it's not cancer!
-My Aunt Tilly is in kidney failure because she never took care of her diabetes.
-Huh. I thought only fat people got diabetes. You're not fat.
-I've heard that cinnamon/chromium/okra can cure diabetes. Have you tried it?
Say this instead:
-Thanks for telling me. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
-That's good to know. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
-I've always wanted to learn more about diabetes. Please let me know if there's ever anything I can do.
Situation:
-You witness a diabetic eating or drinking something that you've heard is "against the rules" for diabetics (the generally accepted belief that there are hard and fast rules for all diabetics is a myth, by the way).
Don't say this:
-Are you allowed to eat that?
-You can't have that, can you?
-Isn't that bad for you?
-You need to take better care of your diabetes.
-Is this going to put you into a coma?
-My aunt ate cake all the time and had to have her foot amputated
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You have deep knowledge about how another friend/family member cares for their diabetes, and you witness someone else managing their diabetes in a way that is different from what you've observed in the past.
Don't say this:
-I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be doing that.
-My friend/family member manages their diabetes by <enter treatment method here>. Have you tried that?
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You witness a diabetic checking their blood sugar and/or taking insulin. You are squeamish and HATE needles.
Don't say this:
-Oh wow, I would just DIE if I had to prick myself like that every day!
-That's disgusting.
-Can you please go into the bathroom if you're going to do that?
-Can you not do that in front of me?
-You must have the bad kind of diabetes.
-Your diabetes must be really bad.
Say this instead:
-<nothing>
Situation:
You learn that your friend/family member's blood sugar is, at this very moment in time, too high or too low (This occasionally happens to all diabetics. Blood sugars will never be perfect 100% of the time).
Don't say this:
-Wow, isn't that bad?
-Wow, why is it so bad?
-OMG that's really low/high isn't it?
-Is this because you ate something you shouldn't have eaten?
-You need to take better care of yourself.
-But you don't look sick.
Say this instead:
-Let me know if there's anything you need.
-How can I help?
-What can I do to help?
-What can I get you?
Situation:
You say, "what's that?" and the diabetic responds with "It's an insulin pump" or "It's a glucose monitor."
Don't say this:
-OhMyGosh I'm SO sorry, I shouldn't have asked!
-Wow, your diabetes must be really bad.
-Are you a brittle diabetic?
-My friend was a bad diabetic so that's why they put him on insulin.
-Oh, you have diabetes? I know someone who died from that.
-I heard insulin makes you fat.
Say this instead:
-Cool!
-That is awesome technology!
-Oh neat! That is so fascinating. Mind if I ask some questions about how it works?
Situation:
A diabetic you know is unconscious or having a seizure (uncommon, but possible)
Do this:
-If you're trained in blood sugar testing/treatment and/or glucagon administration, follow protocol.
-If you're not trained in blood sugar testing and glucagon administration, call 911.
Diabetes (all types) is a very difficult and confusing disease to manage. Diabetes behaves in extremely inconsistent ways from day to day. Most diabetics are doing the best they can! Things don't always work out perfectly. I understand that most of our supporters really just want to help, especially when they believe a diabetic is struggling. But. Unless you are a diabetes educator or an endocrinologist, it's unlikely that any suggestions you make will add value to a diabetic's life. Always remember that there is a very fine line between curiosity and perceived criticism. When in doubt, just say this: How can I help? If there's a way for you to help, we'll let you know! And, in case we forget to tell you, thank you for caring so much about us.
With Diabetic Love,
Kara
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